And on to the next bit…

(Please click on entry title to comment)

Okay, so it’s 5:30am on Thursday and I’m as prepared as I can be for the next cycle of treatment.  I start the new chemo regime this morning and that will be every Thursday for the next 12 weeks.  That’s the plan, anyway.  Although this one is supposed to be more tolerable than the chemo I’ve already had, side effects can derail it so some people don’t finish the whole thing.  The side effect I’m most worried about is neuropathy in my hands and feet.  Although I don’t relish the idea of 12 weeks of chemo, I also want to complete it to have the best chance, and I certainly don’t want long-term/permanent problems with walking or picking things up.  So, as usual, I’m feeling anxious.

Recovery from the last chemo treatment has been very slow.  I still don’t feel as if I’m ready for the next bout.  It seems to have affected my heart rate as when it was tested for the exercise programme last week, my resting rate was 112 and over.  It seems to have normalised again now but that was worrying.  Hopefully, I will find out the results of the ECG today and fingers crossed that it’s good.  And I’m still so tired.  There’s no real describing to anyone who hasn’t been here but it is so all encompassing that I sometimes feel like sinking to the floor and crying with tiredness (only that would take energy that I don’t have).  Everyone tells me I look well (and don’t get me wrong – I really appreciate it) but they don’t know that I’ve probably rested before going out in public so I have some energy and as soon as I get home, I’ll collapse with exhaustion.

But saying all of that, compared to many, I’m doing well.  I hear so many stories of women who have ended up in hospital with reactions or infections during chemo, or those who turn up at the clinic only to be told that their bloods indicate that they can’t tolerate the chemo this week (at the clinic last time, one woman had come from Yorkes and had to go back home again).  So, I shouldn’t complain as I have managed fairly well, considering.  I’m hopeful that is the case for this next lot.