I’m now home from St Andrews Hospital and very glad to be.
I went in two days ago with admission at 9:30am. Dave drove me in and I was doing okay (I think) until we got to admissions and then all I could think of was that 30 years ago, Lori was probably doing the same thing, with the same concerns that I have.
Admitted, then upstairs to do some more waiting. Saw the breastscreen nurse and got some free Brunhildes (massive bras like the awful maternity ones) then more waiting. Finally, after Dave went off to pick up his Dad from the RAH, they took me down to x-rays to locate the sentinel nodes with radioactivity. Some incredibly painful injections, and more emotional tears, then Dave turns up out of the blue – very glad to see him. Apparently, his Dad wasn’t ready to be discharged at all. A number of x-rays taken, then some textra drawing on my breast, then more waiting to be taken by an orderly back to the room so I could wait!
Dave went off again to pick up his Dad and then came back. Eventually, at 7:30pm I was taken down to theatre. I was in the holding area for another hour and spoke to Dr Kollias and the anaesthetist. I was taken to a crucifix-like bed in the theatre and that’s the last thing I remember before surgery.
Waking up in the recovery area, I felt extremely panicky and disoriented but they must have given me something to calm me down, I think. The memories are very disjointed. I didn’t remember until later the next day that Dave was waiting for me in my room – I remembered him being there just not the timeline.
Friday was spent mostly sleeping or coping with nausea, probably an aftermath of the anaesthesia – poor Sheryl came to visit and wasn’t there long before I sent her home ‘cos I was feeling so sick.
And so to today… I couldn’t wait to be let out into the real world again. Nice to have a shower. Lovely to be able to sit up without feeling erky. I saw the surgeon this morning to be discharged. No wonderful news (not that I expected any), just “we have to wait for the results – we both know it could go either way”.
I’m feeling sore and sorry for myself. It’s so good to see the kids again. They’ve been great while I’ve been gone. Looking after themselves and sending me lots of virtual and verbal love. And Dave has been great – even spent time during the night making this blog a happening thing.
I will get the results of the tests on the tumour and nodes sometime later next week. In the meantime, it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow and fortunately, the whole Christmas thing is sorted, so we’ll spend time together and take it easy.
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